The Letter
by grei-eba
Summary: COMPLETE- Dougie recieves the letter he wrote to himself 6 years ago and tries to make up for the mistakes he made in the past... But maybe it's too late to realize he's done mistakes.
1. Her Face Is Just A Memory

"Where is it?" I asked mum. I'd just arrived but I was eager to finally see it. I had completely forgotten about it after all these years, but the moment she reminded me about it, I jumped on my car and drove to Corringham as fast as I could.

"In the kitchen table, darling" she said.

I almost ran to the kitchen and yes, there it was the little envelope. It had once been white, but the years had turned it kind of yellow. I wondered if the letter inside was yellow too. I opened it and took the letter from inside. I read it as quickly as I could, but trying not to loose any detail.

'Dear me: Hi Dougie from the future, _you_, _yes_, **you**! Mrs. Wilson from the Literature class asked us to write a letter for ourselves and keep it for 6 years, which I think it's stupid, I will probably loose it by next week or maybe I should ask mum to keep it… Well, in 6 years we'll find out if we lost it or actually managed to keep it. Whatever, the thing is that the teacher asked us to write about anything we wanted and I cant really think about _anything_… I wonder is Jazzie will be as annoying as she is now in 6 years. Did we kick her first boyfriend's ass? Emma says I won't, but I should really do it to show her she's wrong. I just hope Jazzie doesn't date older guys than me. I wonder what Emma will look in 6 years. She's growing up fast, I bet she'll look great... And I know she doesn't ever get to read this, it would be _very_ embarassing. I wonder if I'll have a girlfriend in 6 years. Or maybe I could be in a band! That would be really cool. I'm going to an audition in a couple of weeks, I really want to get in that band. I'd be in a kiss-ass band at the age of 15, I would rock! I wonder if girls will die for me, that should be awesome because I asked Ruby out last month and well, that didn't go the way I wanted, she would have kicked my ass if she was a guy… And I think Adam wants to kick my ass, I should watch my back... Emma will probably defend me anyway, we always look after each other. I hope that in 6 years we'll be still be friends. Anyway, we agreed that we will both write this in out letters; we will meet each other in 6 years -after receiving the letter- in London one day before Christmas in the park we saw in front of the History Museum during the excursion with school last week. Be there before lunch time. I should really keep this letter because if I forget about this, she's is going to get really angry. Well, I'm done writing, have no idea what else to write. Goodbye Dougie from future.'

It had been a funny thing to read this letter but I felt awful the moment I remembered Emma; she'd been my best friend, my almost _only_ friend, she was the one who made school bearable, without her I would have lost my mind… And I did great at that audition I'd mentioned in the letter; it was McFLY's auditions. One month later, I was out of Corringham on my way to London… And I almost didn't see her ever again. The band kept me so busy and I was so excited about being in such a successful band that I ended up forgetting about everything else. I forgot about Emma. She must hate me now.

"So, did you read anything interesting in the letter?" mum asked me "I almost forgot about it"

"Well, yes… Do you remember Emma?"

"Emma, your best friend Emma?"

"_Yes_, yes, that one! Does she still live here in Corringham?"

"No, she moved, his father got a new job in somewhere in France and they left"

I sighed. I wondered if she got her own letter from Mrs. Wilson's class. I hoped she did. I hoped she had written something about me, I hoped she still remembered me.

After I left Corringham, I saw her about three more times. She didn't have enough money to travel to see me there and I didn't have much free time, I couldn't travel, I needed to be in London. Little by little, we started to see each other once a month and then we sent each other letters once a week… Then once a week became once a month… And then I just forgot to open the letters, I threw them in the couch and said to myself that I would open them later.

I wonder if she was going to meet me in London before Christmas. I started to think it was useless to go, if her family had moved to France, she must have probably started a life there, she must have a boyfriend, she must hate me _for sure_. I abandoned her. I abandoned _my best friend_. She was too shy and too different, I knew that nobody in hour class would pay her attention, they never really did except for me. We only had each other.

"Do you know where _exactly_?" I asked her.

"When I said '_somewhere in France_' did that gave you the feeling I knew where exactly?" she raced an eyebrow "Didn't she tell you she was moving?"

"I don't know, we kind of lost contact after a while"

"After you left, she usually came here to talk to Jazzie, they got quite close. Maybe you could ask her"

I ran upstairs, I knew Jazzie would be in her room; she was in her last year at school, after that she was planning to move to London with me and study art there. We were going to have loads of fun together. 6 years ago, I thought Jazzie was the most annoying person in the world, but now she was one of my closest friends. I didn't even knock, I just opened the door; she was lying on her bed watching TV. She jumped off the bed and hugged me.

"Dougie, hi! What are you doing here?" she asked me.

"I received a letter, but I came to talk to you about something else."

"What is it?"

"Do you remember Emma?"

"Of course"

"Do you know where she is?"

"She moved to France many years ago, just a couple of months after you moved to London"

"Don't you know where _exactly_?"

"No, why? Are you planning to look for her?" she laughed.

"Why's that funny? She was my best friend"

"_Exactly_; she _was_ your best friend. You left her here completely alone. She was a loser and suddenly she was the most popular girl because she was Dougie Poynter's friend, the amazing bassist from McFLY… But then you guys stopped being friends and she became a loser _again_. Doug, she looked miserable"

I felt even worse now! I looked down ashamed of myself and sighed. Now that I thought about her once again in my life, I felt kind of a whole in my chest; I_ missed _her. We had been together every single day of the week since we were about 7, including holidays, and we usually spend the weekends together, except for those days in which his father was free… I remembered he used to work all the time, he wasn't home usually so every time he was, Emma would spend every single second she could with him, she _adored_ him, but it always gave me the feeling he cared more about his job than he cared about Emma. That's why I never wanted to leave her alone, I could see she felt lonely and she was way too shy to talk to anybody else… And because the rest of the boys and girls of our age thought I was a weirdo and nobody wants to be friend with a weirdo because that would make _you_ a weirdo _or_ a loser.

I remembered the day we first became friends…

**-flashback-**

There was no one left but _her_, this was going to be a **disaster**, girls don't run fast!

We were in a gym class at the very beginning of the school period, I already missed the holidays and my freedom. We had to pick a partner, tie our right ankle with our partner's left angle, and run as fast as we could. The first ones to get there would be able to leave the class earlier. I really wanted that but now that I had to do it with _her_, all I could do was dreaming. I didn't understand why _none_ of the boys wanted to be my partner; I'm _not_ slow! Alec Collins, the last of the boys without a partner, chose Ruby Harper, a _girl_, instead of _me_! How did _that_ happen? I felt ashamed; I had always had the feeling I was a loser, but I really wasn't expecting this.

I sighed and walked toward Emma, the last girl without a partner; she knew she was going to have to do this with me, but she was shy and probably she could see I didn't want to do this with her, so she hadn't even looked at me yet.

"You'll have to be my partner" I said trying not to sound too unfriendly; it wasn't her fault to be slow after all.

"Yes, I _noticed_" she said as if I had said something stupid. So she's shy but she's one of those girls who think they know everything… _Perfect_.

"I'll tie our ankles…" I said. I knelt down by her side and tied my right ankle to her left one.

"I warn you; I'm fast" she said.

"_Yeah, right_… I hope you can catch up with me"

She raced an eyebrow but looked away as we walked toward the starting-line. The rest of the boys laughed when they saw who my partner was; being with a girl was pathetic, Alec was lucky that Ruby was one of the prettiest girl in the class.

"Ready?" the professor said "Set… Go!"

Emma wasn't kidding; she was _really_ fast, as fast as any boy or even _faster_. I had to do my best to catch up with her; if I didn't, the two of us would fall and then I would have to move to another town. I smiled; we were going to win. She took my hand to help me run by her side and smiled when she saw me smiling. We nearly jumped over the finish-line and fell to the floor, both really tired. I won! I mean, _we_ won! And she's a girl!

"I told you I was fast" she said.

"Alright, Poynter and Darling, you can go" the professor said.

I laughed "Your surname's _Darling_?"

"Yes, why,_ Poynter_? Any problem with that?" She was shy, but she looked fierce when she wanted.

"No, it's just… Weird"

**-end of flashback-**

'_Weird… Well, look who's talking_' I thought. Emma Darling. _Come one_, it's a weird name! But we were _both_ weird, which made us very good friends somehow, we were closer. I started to think that if I hadn't been so blind, I would have even liked her... Like _really_ **like** her. She was the type of girl you could easily fall in love with; cute but fierce, tall _and_ beautiful, polite and intelligent, sarcastic, which I _loved_, and good at sports. She was the girl of my dreams and I'd never noticed it… Until now.

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**Hope you like the story, let me know if you find any spelling or grammar mistake, I actually speak Spanish, not English, so you would help me by telling me about my mistakes.**

**I have to finish a book-report in about 10 days and I bought the book yesterday, so I'll be kind of busy for the next week. BUT dont worry, I'm not one of those writers who upload once a month. [though I'm about to freak out about that book-report...]  
**

**Review please, at least so I can know if anybody's reading it.**


	2. So Much Has Changed

**I didn't finish the [useless] book-report but as I didn't almost touch that little annoying book today, I thought I could write a little bit. It's my family fault anyway, they came to visit, I couldn't read :D  
**

**Enjoy and review, even if you think this is crap, seriously.  
**

**Thanks to Holly360 for the support :)**

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I was getting impatient. I had my hands on my coat's pockets and from time to time, I rushed my fingers through my hair, something I did when I became nervous. '_This is stupid_' I though '_**I** am stupid_' She wasn't going to come after what I did to her, she probably didn't even receive the letter. And if she did, she wouldn't come anyway; she was in France and she wouldn't waist her time _and_ her money in the boy who turned her down the most. Emma wasn't going to show up.

But I still was here, waiting for her, as I usually did; she always used to arrive late everywhere, I was hoping this time she was only arriving late as usual.

I looked at the little tower in the middle of the lake; it had a clock in the middle. It was already 2p.m. I'd written in the letter '_be there before lunch time_'. Well, this wasn't lunch time anymore, she wasn't going to come. I sighed, I was really disappointed, my biggest desire right now was to see her at least _one_ more time… But this was my last hope to see her again and well… She wasn't coming…

I turned and started to walk toward the street, I was going to my house to eat pizza because I was starving.

I was looking down at my shoes when I bumped into a pretty girl.

"Sorry" I said as I looked up.

"Oh… It's _you_"

I stared at her, completely shocked. The words '_I wonder what Emma will look in 6 years, she's growing up fast, I bet she'll look great_' crossed my mind immediately. She didn't look great, she looked **unbelievable**. Her long blond hair seemed darker now, but it was still beautiful and curl at the end, her grey eyes looked fierce, as usual, she was as tall as me and it was obvious that she has hiding some really nice curves under her coat. She was wearing dark jeans, a black coat and a very cool grey scarf. She had never paid attention to her clothes before, but she was looking awesome now. She looked like the coolest badass girl in the _whole_ planet.

She didn't look happy to see me, she seemed angry and I was shocked she was even there after all.

"You came" I smiled.

She didn't say anything. She buried her hands in her pockets and gave me that intimidating look she used in the people she didn't like.

"Don't give me the_ I-don't-like-you_ look!" I said hurt.

"Why shouldn't I? I don't"

"I know you must ate me, but I'm terribly sorry about that happened"

"Oh, I'm sure you are" she said with an ironic tone "I'm sure your conscience was really bothering you while you were surrounded by _horny_ girls _and_ money"

"I was 15, Emma, I was stupid and the band was keeping me really busy. I was young, I'm sorry"

"Well, I was young too! You don't know how unbearable school became after you left! You were my only friend and yet the one who disappointed me the most. Friends don't do that, Dougie!"

"I want to make it up to you, really. Can we give it one more try?"

"I don't know, Dougie, I can not trust you"

"But you came here… You came! I wouldn't have come if you hated me as much as I thought you did"

"Let's make this clear; I _do_ hate you"

"_Thanks_"

"You are welcome"

She took a big breath. "Can we sit?"

She closed her eyes and opened them some seconds later. She looked tired for a second, but then her fierce look came back. She didn't even wait to me to answer, she just walked toward a bench and sat down. I sat next to her while I stared at her sudden beauty, waiting for anything to happen.

"Did you have lunch?" I said after two minutes of silence.

"No"

"Are you hungry?"

She hesitated "Not really"

Silence again. I remembered how we used to spend half the day of _even more_ time together almost everyday and now were in silence while we should be telling each other everything about this last 6 years.

"So…" I said "Where did you move?"

"France"

"Yes, but where exactly?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Just answer the question, Emma"

"Paris"

"Wow, that's cool, I've never been to Paris. Maybe I can go to visit you some day"

"Who says I will let you?" she raced an eyebrow. I didn't feel we were friends anymore and, well, I kind of didn't deserve it anyway.

I sighed and stood up. She looked at me, confused.

"I'm leaving" I said as I put my hands in my pockets.

"Why?"

"Are seriously asking me that? Don't you hear yourself when you talk to me?"

She sighed "I'm sorry, alright? It's just not easy for me to forgive you. You hurt me, Dougie…"

I sat by her side again and put an arm around her "I know, but I'm sorry, I really am. Let's not waist more time"

She put her hair on my shoulder and I secretly smiled.

"So what have you been up to?" I asked her "What did you do after you moved to France?"

"Well, my father got pretty rich with his new job. He tried to give me a job there, you know, as a lawyer, but that's not what I wanted. I've finished school there and then learned to do different things"

"Like what?"

"Like playing the guitar, driving, swimming, painting…"

"You didn't know how to swim?"

"No, any problem with that, Poynter? I bet I can still kick your ass"

I laughed "I don't think so… Still no boyfriends?"

"Of course I had a boyfriend" she smiled.

The feeling I got surprised me; first disappointment, then jealousy. I'd never been there for her the first time she kissed a boy or the first time she dated a guy and that made me insecure. Had she dated jerks? Had they hurt her? Had they treated her as well as she deserved?

"You had a boyfriend?"

"You sound surprise"

"I don't know, you are still 15 in my head"

"And what, 15 years old girls can't have a boyfriend?"

"Not you"

She laughed.

"Well, I did have a boyfriend; two actually. I dated one guy for a couple of months and then another one for about one year… We broke up a couple of months ago actually"

"Did you…?" I couldn't finish the questions, they words were floating in my mind but my mouth seemed dry the moment I tried to speak. The possibility of that situation made me angry, though I knew it was absolutely possible.

"Did I _what_?"

"Did you… You know _what_… With him?"

She laughed "What's wrong, Poynter, you got suddenly shy?"

"Did you?" I insisted, I was glad she wasn't looking at me, I was sure I was blushing, though I didn't know why.

"Yes, _of course_, what did you expect? I'm 21, I wasn't going to wait for you"

"I never said you would"

"Then why did you get so… _Weird_?"

"Because it's weird… Did he take good care of you?"

"What does it matter?" she almost sighed.

"He didn't?"

"Kind of… I don't blame him for leaving me anyway"

"_He_ left _you_?" What a jerk! "Well, he's the biggest jerk ever"

"Aww, that's sweet, but remember that's _you_. So he can be the _second_ biggest jerk ever" she smiled. She looked so damn pretty. I wondered why that guy had left her, I would have never left her… Well, I _did_ but… Whatever! You know what I mean!

When we were kids, everyone at school had always made fun of us because we were always together, everyone seemed to think that sooner or later we would end up **together**. Even my mum asked me once if we were together! I was stupid at that age, seriously _dumb_, I'd never thought of her in _that way_ but I started to wonder what would had happened if I had never left Corringham… And now, 6 years later, I started to see her differently; I didn't know if the distance was the reason, or her sudden change; she'd always been pretty, but not so unbelievably beautiful… Or maybe the fact that someone else had been under the covers of her bed with her was bothering me deeply, it was as if I had a button in my head; whenever you pushed it, I would turn incredibly protective of her, as I once used to be.

Well, whatever the reason was, I was suddenly uncomfortable as all things crossed my mind. Suddenly the pretty girl who once ran next to me on the gym class, was something more than just my old best-friend. I felt confused, I didn't know what was going on with me or my feelings, but I decided it wasn't time to pay attention to that; she was back in my life and there was no time to waist.

She looked up at me. "Are you alright?"

I smiled "I'm perfectly fine"


	3. She Blew My Mind

**Still havent finished the stupid book-report, I just can't help writing from time to time.**

**Enjoy and review, so at least I know if anybody's following the story hahaha. Thanks.**

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"You are not very famous in France" she said.

We were still in the park, I was trying to ignore my stomach, I didn't want to move; if I could make a wish, I'd wish we could stay like this forever.

"But we are like kings here"

"Do you have a _queen_, Mr. Poynter?" she asked.

"You know me too well; I never gave girlfriends for more than one year _maximum_"

"Well, actually I don't know that part of you; when we were friends, you never had any girlfriend. Nobody wanted to date you, remember?"

I gave her a killing look; I couldn't deny it, she was right, but still, _jeez_, no need to remind me I'd been such a loser.

She smiled; she knew what I was thinking "Oh, I hurt your feeling? Sorry. Don't worry; they must be regretting it now… Like Ruby, you invited her out once, remember?"

"Oh, yeah, that was really embarrassing" I still couldn't believe how dumb I'd been back then; I had asked out the most popular girl in school during lunch, in front of everyone; that was a no _for sure_, the prettiest girl in school **doesn't** date the dumbest boy in town… But I remembered Emma had thrown her sandwich over her after Ruby insulted me in front of the whole school; she was shy, as I'd said before, but dammit this girl has courage. Ruby never bothered me again after she did that.

"Dougie, you'll never get married this way"

"I'm not planning to get married"

"_Ever_?"

"I don't now, it's just a really big commitment. I don't think I'm ready for that _now_ and besides I don't even have a girlfriend"

"I guess you are right…"

"Would you like to get married?"

She sighed "I'd like to do _so_ many things" She sounded sad, she also seemed a little bit tired again.

"When did you arrived?" I asked her.

"Today actually"

"How long are you staying?"

"As long as I want… My father pays for my hotel"

"Hotel? Are you crazy? You can stay in my house"

"I will not share a house with you; you've always been dirty and you probably have like a million dogs or lizards"

"I do not! I only have two dogs and two lizards"

"Still; _no way_, Poynter. You haven't been forgiven yet"

"What can I do to be forgiven?"

She thought about it for some minutes. Meanwhile, I only stared at her; I was feeling so amazingly changed, in peace, happy; she was once again in my life. I couldn't believe I'd let her go, I'd almost lost her forever… But I wasn't going to make the same mistake, only death could tear us apart now. I'd only been with her a couple of hours and I already felt I should control my feelings; I didn't want to fall in love, that only brought problems, and she was my best friends; best friends shouldn't _ever_ get together, nothing good _ever_ comes from that **[author-note: not true]**. So I couldn't fall in love with the perfect girl for me. That doesn't make sense but still, nothing _really_ does; the universe may have no ending, that didn't make sense to me, but still that was the way thing were and nothing could change it. I couldn't fall in love with Emma and nothing would change that, I wouldn't allow it.

She finally answered "Introduce me to your bandmates"

"_Why_?"

"I heard they are pretty handsome…"

"They all have girlfriends" ok, that _wasn't_ a lie; Tom and Harry had girlfriends… Danny didn't, but it 2 out of 3, so it wasn't a lie. See? That doesn't make sense either but I'm not changing my mind.

"You think I'm stupid? I made a little bit of research while I was on the place; Jones doesn't have a girlfriend"

Jealousy is a horrible feeling. Danny would be delighted to date a girl like Emma; _anyone_ would really, she was, as I'd said, perfect –or at least I thought that. There must be something wrong with her, I wondered what it was; there's always at least something wrong about someone, _nobody's_ perfect.

She smiled again when I didn't answer "Relax, I'm not interesting"

"You are not?" I said surprised; that was the first time I heard a lady say that and, honestly, I never thought that would happen. I was going to write that in my diary… Oh, wait, I _don't_ have a diary.

"No, Dougie. Nobody seems interesting enough to me anymore; dating lost its fun"

"What the hell are you talking about? We are 21; dating looses its fun when you re like my mum's age"

"Boys are just not interesting enough these days" she raced an eyebrow, looking sexier than I ever thought she could be. When I was a teenager, I'd always wondered how she would look like when we grew up; not because I liked her, I was just curious… She looked even better than in my dreams.

"French boys may not be interesting, but you are talking to Dougie Poynter here"

She laughed "I'm not dating you"

"You still are my friend; I'll show you how great we can be"

"You'll introduce me to your friends?"

I sighed; I would have to warn Danny, I just couldn't imagine him with Emma, it would bother me even if it didn't made any sense. He would have to keep his hands off my girl… Well, not my girl, but— Oh, you know what I mean!

"Alright, I will" I said annoyed.

She kissed my cheek; she was cold "Don't worry, I'm not going to fall in love with your bandmates."

"You'd better not"

I look around and noticed a guy was staring at us from another bench; he had a camera in his hands…

"Dammit" I mumbled and took her hand as I stood up "There's a guy with a camera there"

"_So_…?"

"He's taking pictures of us, Emma"

She still looked confused "_So_…?"

"He's probably going to publish them in some gossip magazine"

She smiled "And why do you care so much? Let them think whatever they want"

"I doesn't work that way; I have fans, they have feelings, this could hurt them"

"You can't date them all, Dougie, and they aren't stupid, they know that"

"I know, but I wouldn't like to see Liv Tyler with another guy, for example"

"Dougie, she's married" **[author-note: I know, she's divorced, but whatever]**

"What!?"

She stood up, still smiling and did something I'd never imagined she would do; she kissed me. Her lips still felt cold, but that doesn't mean the kiss wasn't good; it felt amazing, though it only last about one seconds. She broke the kiss before I could do something as stupid as introducing my tongue in her mouth; now _that_ would have got _me_ in serious problems.

"Stop thinking about what the rest of the people think about you"

I nodded, unable to say anything. I looked down, I was probably blushing, and ran my fingers through my hair, completely nervous; I didn't know what to say, what to think, what to do. The guy in the bench must had taken the picture of us kissing, but I couldn't think about that now.

'_Oh, shoot, Dougie, not **her**, don't fall in love with **her**_' I had been a completely immature jerk when I was 15. If I hadn't been so blind, I would have dated her for sure; now all those hidden feeling were coming back to me, now that I'd learn to love, now that she was back in my life.

"So…" she said, saving me from my own mind "Shall we go, Doug?"

She took my hand and smiled… She used to take my hand sometimes when we walked together when we were younger; that had never really bothered me before, but now things were changing apparently. If I was falling in love, I should hide it at least; if she found out, I was dead, she would freak out like I would if my best-friend fell in love with me. I had to act normal; that, in my case, was behaving wild.

I took her in my arms and she laughed "What are you doing? Be careful!"

"I'll show you how interesting _I_ can be" I winked at her and started to walk toward my car as she kept laughing.

"Where are you taking me?"

"To meet my friends… They have to meet my best friend ever; you"

She blushed, something she usually never did. "_Now _you are forgiven, Poynter"


	4. Forget

**Finished reading the book, didn't finish the book report. Whatever, I'm here again.** **Hope you like it :)**

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I drove her to Danny's house; I knew at least Tom would be there. I was suddenly kind of nervous; I really wanted them to like Emma, she was my best friend. But I was sure they would, we actually liked almost everyone, and, well, who doesn't like Tom or Danny? Tom's the best friend you could ever meet and Danny's one of the funniest people I know.

I was still thinking about that kiss… Well, '_kiss_'; she only touch my lips for one seconds with hers, I couldn't call _that_ a _real_ kiss but still it had been enough to make my heartbeat speed up. It had confused me, my feelings weren't clear and I wasn't sure I wanted to think about that either… I was only wondering what it had meant to her; did she seriously only did it to bother me in front of the guy with the camera? She had told me that after she kissed me, while I was walking with her in my arms.

"How is Jazzie?" she asked me. She was staring out the window, but turned to see me.

"She's fine I guess. Maybe you could visit her sometime"

"Yes…" she almost sighed "I'd like to see her one more time"

"Can you move to London?"

She raced an eyebrow "Why are you asking?"

"Well, I'm glad we are friends again, I wouldn't like to have you so far away"

"France's not that far, Dougie"

"It's not near _my_ house"

"What, now you want me to live near your house?"

"Yes" I wasn't looking at her though I could almost feel her eyes on me. I was feeling emotionally vulnerable and that made me feel like a girl.

She sighed "I'll do my best to stay here as long as I can, I promise"

"How long is that?"

"I don't know, Doug, alright? I've just arrived"

I wondered why she was that tired; her journey couldn't have been longer than two hours, the trip by plane from Paris to London wasn't too long.

I parked in front of Danny's house and sighed; he'd better not try anything with her, please not _this_ girl, Danny has to learn to control his impulses, you can't always have everyone you want! Well, _he_ probably cans, but_ I_ want her… Well, kind of! Well, I actually don't, I just don't want _him_ to be with her. '_Here I go again'_ I thought '_You can't even think properly, there must be something wrong with our brain_…'

"What are you thinking?" she asked. She hadn't moved an inch, she even had her seatbelt on.

When we were kids, Emma always used to say everything that she ever thought. I, on the other hand, was rather quiet, I only talked to those I thought were my friends or my family, or I sometimes did _extremely _stupid jokes. She would always ask me what I was thinking, but only few times I answered.

"Why do you always have to say what's on your mind? I'm not like that" I said. What was I suppose to tell her…? 'Oh, I was just jealous of my friend because he's going to try to get you and I don't want that and don't ask me for a reason because I don't know that either' I sound like a genius, right?

"I just don't understand why you cant share everything with me" she said.

I sighed "Everybody needs to have their own secrets sometimes"

I saw Danny opening the front door; he must have heard me parking in front of his house. Emma took off her seatbelt and opened the car's door without saying anything else to me. I almost ran behind her when I saw Danny smiling at her… I know that look in his face, _that_ smile…

"Hi" he smiled at her. She didn't smile back; she was polite but it took her a while to trust people and she would be friendly and nice once she thought they deserved it. She's special, I'd always told her she wouldn't get too many friends like that, but now I thought she looked more like a girl who was playing _hard-to-get_ and that, sometimes, makes you look attractive, mysterious.

We entered the house and saw Tom sitting in the couch with pizza on his lap and a guitar lying next to him.

"Hi" he said… I think… His mouth was full of pizza, so I really don't know, but that's the most reasonable thing he could have said, right?

Emma laughed and said hi. She sat next to him and grabbed his guitar. I took that opportunity to talk to Danny, so I grabbed him by the arm and almost dragged him to the kitchen.

"Who's _she_?" he asked.

"_She_ is my best-friend from my childhood; you met her about 6 years ago"

"I don't remember her"

"Well, _I_ do, she's very special to me, please don't try to flirt with her or anything"

"Oh, I get it, you like her… No problem, dude, she's yours" Danny loved flirting and messing around with girls, but he was one of those guys who would always choose friendship over girls, he was a really good friend.

"No, I don't like her"

"So why can't I flirt then?"

"Just don't, Danny"

"Oh, I get it; you are in denial"

"I'm not in _denial_"

"_Right_"

He turned and went to the living-room again. '_I'm not in denial!_' I thought annoyed. She's my best-friend, for God's sake! It's as if she wasn't even a girl, she was just Emma, you know? Well, now _just-Emma_ had turned into _Emma-my-hot-best-friend_, but whatever!

Danny behaved as he usually did: like a 15 years old teenager. I'm not judging him; I behave just like him. Emma didn't seem to dislike it at all, she was still the fun girl I knew years ago. She laughed a lot and I liked seeing her like that after the damage I'd done, after the pain I'd caused her.

Have you ever been in a situation in which you had to gather two different friends? Like your friends from school and your friends from a club or something like that? You are all together in the same room. You are nervous because you don't know if they will like each other, if they fought you would have to stand in someone's side and that wouldn't be good for your friendship with the ones in the other group. You want them to become friends so badly.

I'd been there from the very moment Emma and I arrived, but she was getting along with them perfectly; I never really got to understand why nobody had liked her at school… Kids are cruel, but come on, the girl is an angel!

I drove her to her hotel when it was time to have dinner. I had the small hope that she would ask me to have dinner with her or stay a little longer, but that didn't happen. This day had been like a dream; I was scared I would wake up and she would be long gone, I was afraid she could disappeared by the morning.

She turned to face me when we were in front of the hotel.

"I really liked your friends, thought they've changed, they are more handsome than I remembered" she said. She'd only met them once, but you would never manage to forget us in you spent one whole day with us, you can bet on it.

"I'm changed to, I've grown up a lot" I said proud of myself; I was a damn pretty boy now. Ruby must be dying to date me now. Who's the loser now, baby?

"No, you haven't changed, you are just the same"

"No, I'm not. There are some parts of my body that I have as evidence"

"See? You haven't changed, you are as disgusting as you've _always_ been" she said as she looked at me with fake disgust "Goodnight, Dougie"

"Hey, hey, wait" I grabbed her wrist softly and turned her around to face me again.

"What?"

"Do I pick you up tomorrow or something?"

"Don't you have to work?"

"I have no idea" I said and I felt suddenly lost. I would have to call Tom in the morning.

She laughed "You can pick me up whenever you want. I'm here for _you_, remember?"

She smiled at me one last time, her eyes were sweet and full of love, just as they were when we were kids… It wasn't passion or _that _kind of love that Tom felt for Giovanna; it was simply love, it was her way to show me she cared about me. I tried to remember her like that as she opened the hotel's room and closed it behind her.

I put my hand in my pockets and started to walk toward my car, wondering what the hell I was feeling. She was driving me mad, everything about her. How could I be so blind? I sighed once more, I'd done it plenty of times today, it was my own way to calm down.

'_Forget about it_' I thought '_We don't want what we are feeling… It's just the excitement of seeing her again_' That, for the first time in this whole crazy day, made sense. It was just the excitement of seeing her again. In a couple of days, Emma would be _just-Emma_ again, someone special to me but only as special as Jazzie or my mum. She was, after all, my best-friend; you don't mess around with your best-friend. So that was it; I'm not going to fall in love, at least not with her.


	5. Dumb Mistakes

She was wearing a nice combination of blue clothes today; she looked even more amazing that yesterday… Or maybe I was more _stupid_ and excited than yesterday. What I liked the most about her is that she didn't use makeup. I don't like when girls wear tons of makeup and I don't like kissing girls with lipsticks, it feels so weird. '_So she's perfect once again_' I thought. I mean, come on, you don't find many girls who don't wear makeup lately, it's the truth.

I picked her up and drove to Danny's house again. We usually spend a lot of time there and today was Saturday, the boys usually play football on Saturday whenever we didn't have to work, but I only watch and laugh when someone gets their ass kicked, I don't really like playing sports…

"That's because you **suck**" Emma said and laughed. Well, she could have been nicer, but she was actually right; I suck at sports.

"Are you going to play?" I asked her. I'd love to see Danny's face when Emma scored a goal; he's the kind of boys who think girls are not good players… Well, that's because he hasn't seen her playing, she was the queen of sports back in Corringham.

"No, I don't feel like playing today?"

I looked at her quickly and then focused on the road again; whenever Emma refused to play any kind of game, it had to be because she was sick.

"Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm a bit tired, really"

"Tired? The day has just started"

"I know, I just don't want to play, alright?" she seemed annoyed but changed her face quickly "You and I will get to spend some time talking while they play anyway, I like that"

Oh, yes, _perfect_, now I would have to deal with my feelings again. I'd been hoping I would be able to just stare at her while she kicked Danny's ass, not I would have to share time with her, _great_. '_Wait, that's not bad_' I thought '_It's what I wanted_' _Yes_, I wanted time with her. _No_, I didn't want to be on my own with her. It was… _dangerous_… When you are trying not to fall in love with the most perfect person for you, being on your own with that person wont help much. _Damn_. Damn, **damn**, **damn**!

So there I was one hour later; Tom was cooking hamburgers while the girls were talking about the latest gossips and the rest of the boys were playing football; Danny was such a fan that he had this big football field in this garden –which was huge. Everyone seemed to think I liked Emma, because no one was talking to us, we were sitting in the garden near the boys and we were watching the game. Danny's team was winning. Emma followed the ball with her eyes every single moment, it gave me the feeling she was dying to play.

"Are you sure you don't want to play?" I said.

"Yes, I'm sure. I rather be here with you anyway" she smiled at me and I felt a weird feeling in my stomach.

'No, don't do that, bad stomach, bad stomach!' I thought annoyed.

"How many girlfriend have you had?" she suddenly asked.

"Around 4… There was Hannah, then Keeley, then Louise and Frankie was the last one"

"And what happened? Why did you break-up?"

"I don't know, things just didn't work out I guess"

"Oh, come on, Dougie…"

"Well, Hannah liked to party too much, Keeley drank too much, Louise was too controlling and Frankie…" and Frankie did nothing wrong at all and that's when I ran away. I'm _brilliant_. Emma is the type of girl who would hate me for this explanation; I'd freaked out. Yes, I admit it; I'm not ready to commit to a relationship, I'm a coward, alright?

"What was wrong with her?" she said, she was kind of smiling.

"What do you mean by that?"

"You always focus in what's wrong with everybody. No wonder why you don't have a girlfriend" she knows me too well, it made me feel even more vulnerable "Why did you break-up with her?"

"I… Freaked out"

She raced an eyebrow, then looked away "Oh, so you are _that_ type of guy…"

"Hey, what do you mean by that?" Have your best friend ever said something that really annoys you? Isn't that just… Well, annoying? You should have listened to the way she said that. Another weird feeling ran through my whole body, it was probably shame. I didn't want her to think I was a jerk… Though I probably was.

"That you are the type of guy who can't commit to anything."

"I'm in a band!"

"That doesn't count, you are all guys"

"I can commit… I'm just not looking for a girlfriend right now"

"Oh, yeah?" she turned to see me again. She moved closer and looked at me straight in the eyes. I thought my heart was going to explode, I wondered if a heart-attack felt like this "What if I wanted to be your girlfriend? Would you reject me too?"

"I… Well, I…" I must have looked like an idiot, mumbling over and over again 'I', while she smile at me in a very attractive way. She was an angel, _my_ angel. But still, I didn't know if I could do it, it just wasn't me, I liked to fool around with girls all the time.

She came even closer and when I thought she was about to kiss me, she kissed the tip of my nose. She laughed as she watched Danny scoring a goal and screaming wildly.

I looked away too, I was aware my face must have been as red as a tomato. I still hadn't answered and my mind wasn't ready to react yet.

"Just so you know… I was only kidding"

'_No, wait, why do I feel disappointed? Stupid heart, useless thing, you are such a traitor_' I thought. This was getting nowhere and she was messing around with me, she probably knew she had control over me, she always did; she was a girl, I had to protect her, right? Well, that's the way my mind worked. So whatever she asked, I'd always do it, even when we were kids.

"What about you?" I asked "Why did you boyfriend break-up with you?"

She looked at me for a moment and then looked away again.

"Why do you want to know?"

"Why can't you ever just answer the damn question, Emma?"

"Because I wouldn't be able to see you annoyed and that wouldn't be fun" she smiled "He broke up with me because… He didn't want to wait for something really bad to happen"

I thought about it for some minutes then gave up "I don't get it"

"I knew you would say that" she laughed and rested her head on my shoulder; I didn't mind to have her close to me, I was really use to it, even after 6 years.

"Explain, please?"

"He broke up with me while things were ok, he didn't want to wait for a sad break-up"

"But that's just silly…" and yet it sounded so much like something I would do, how ironic, isn't it? I sometimes amaze myself.

"I don't blame him… I would broken up with him anyway before I came here"

"Did you ever hesitated when you received the letter? You know, about meeting me again"

"Just for a second… Then I realized I would probably never get the chance to see you again. You were and still are an asshole, but you are also my best-friend. Love means never have to say you're sorry"

I took her hand and smiled; I knew that line, it was from her favorite film, 'Love Story'. She'd made me watch it loads of times when were teenagers, she would always cry in my arms in the ending. I've got to admit it's a really sad film, it almost made me cry, but she would have made fun of me for the rest of my life if she ever saw me crying with that film. I think I know the whole script of that film.

"Will you promise me something, Dougie…?"

"Yes"

"Please, don't ever leave me again."

"I wont… No matter what... I promise. You are my best friend" and it was true, I could never leave her again, I was completely attached to her now; I wanted to be with her all the time, even if my feelings weren't clear, I just wanted to be with her. We were in silence but that didn't matter, it wasn't uncomfortable, it was peaceful and I was still holding her hand.

If only I'd known by then what was going to happen...


	6. Invading Your Secrets

**I studied until midnight yesterday and today, when I arrived to school, they told me to go back home, that the classes were suspended. If there's a God, he hates me a lot.**

**Enjoy the chapter, I'm off to watch True Blood.**

**Thanks for the reviews :)**

* * *

The food was ready and the boys were sweaty. They stopped playing once Tom said the hamburgers were ready to die, but Emma didn't like toward Tom –like everybody else did, I would have if she didn't have her head on my shoulder-, she stood up slowly and walked toward the ball, which was lying in the middle of the field. She started to play with it but she didn't seem as soon as she was when we were kids; I didn't know if it was the lack of practice or if she didn't have too much energy.

"Hey, don't you want eat?" I asked her as I walked toward her. She didn't look up, her eyes were focused in the ball that she was trying to keep over her foot… I'd never been able to do that.

"I'll go in a minute" she said.

She put the ball down on the floor and started to run toward the end of the field. She was about to score a game when she fell to the floor. I first laughed but then I felt a horrible feeling in my chest when she didn't stood up and insulted me.

"Emma?" I waited one more minute, I thought she was kidding "Oh, come on, Emma, that's _not_ funny"

"Emma?" I turned to see Harry running toward her. The rest were just looking with worried looks.

"_Shit_…" I mumbled and then ran toward her too, I was the closest one to her. I knelt down by her side and took her in my arms. Her eyes were closed and she was really pale. I shook her a little bit and she opened her eyes. Harry knelt down by my side.

"What happened?" he asked.

"I don't know" I said.

"I just fell" she said.

"You don't loose consciousness when you fall" Harry said.

"I am fine" she said and sat down in the floor.

"Is everything alright?" Tom's girlfriend asked from the house.

"Yes" Emma said.

"_No_, it's not, you fainted, we should take you to a hospital, Emma"

She rolled her eyes and stood up "I just lost by breath, alright Poynter?"

I wasn't convinced, I'd always been her protector and I didn't like the way she fell; she hadn't stumbled, she'd always been able to run a lot, she was athletic and she hadn't ran that much so as to lose her breath. I was afraid there could be something wrong with her… As I'd said before, she was too perfect, she must had something wrong, everybody always has something, anything, wrong about them.

She gave me a small smile "Come on, I'm hungry"

I took her hand and noticed how cold it was, it was weird, and the weirdest thing was the feeling I got, like something bad was going to happen. I put that thought in the back of my mind and looked at her, admiring all her beauty. I knew it was too soon to fall in love, I'd only seen her for two days now, but we'd shared half of our lives together, every minute of everyday together, and I knew all about her, and she knew all about me, I was only me when I was with her and you don't get that feeling with everybody. I could even fart in front of her. I know, gross, but she was used to it; I'd done it so many times when we were kids, just to bother her, that she ended up getting use to it.

Yes, it was soon, but for me it was real… And I was afraid of that. Girls like her don't date jerks like me, specially if they are your best friends. It's complicated to fall in love with such a close friend… I'd known this girl who was in love with her best friend. She had to wait 9 months before her friend finally realized he liked her too. Nice months! Can you believe that!? I can not wait 9 months! [author-not: that 'girl' is actually me. My best-friend, who's now my boyfriend, is kind of shy, you see… But 9 months! Come on! haha]

"Oh, Emma, your coat is dirty" Giorgina, Giovanna's sister, asked "Come on, I'll fix that"

"Oh, no, there's no need, I'll do it later"

"It's mud, if you don't do it now, I won't go away later" that girl is very persistent; I'd even heard Giovanna tell Tom she never when shopping with her sister because she would always buy things she didn't like because of Giorgina… She practically took off Emma's coat and I felt bad again when I saw a big bruise in her chest.

"What happened to you?" I asked her as I kept staring at her bruise.

"Firstly; stop looking at my boobs, Dougie. Secondly, I cant take care of myself"

"Did someone hit you?"

"No, I just stumbled and hit my chest in the hotel"

"But that thing is huge"

She rolled her eyes again "Don't you think I would know if there was something wrong with me?"

"Yes, but I don't think you wouldn't tell me"

"I'm fine, Dougie" she took my face with her hands and smile "I am fine"

I sighed, I believed her, I would always believe anything she said to me, but I just couldn't get that weird feeling out of my head, it was stuck there.

Once again, I loved to see my friends adored her, she seemed happy around them and that made me happy. My first girl, Hannah, didn't like Danny and I think that was one of the reasons that made me dislike her in the end… I mean, it's not normal, everybody likes Danny! And I can't stand someone who doesn't, she must be the only one in the whole world who doesn't like him.

I walked her to the door of the hotel again and she turned once more to say goodbye.

"I like your friends more and more everyday. Danny's still single, huh?"

"Emma…"

"I was only kidding!"

"I wanted to ask you something…" I think I blushed, so I looked down at my shoes; wow, they are really dirty.

"Go on…"

"Did you love your boyfriend?"

"No" she didn't hesitate, she answered right after I'd finished asking.

"Then why were you together?" She wasn't the type of girl who messes around with boys, she likes relationships, something real, honest, safe. Yes, that's the word; safe. She wanted to be safe. She'd had a kind of tough childhood, it made sense that she wanted something real and safe for the first time in her life.

"Because I didn't want to be alone. He didn't love me either, but that doesn't mean we didn't care for each other. We are still friends. He was there for me all the time"

I nodded. It bothered me to imagine them together, but I felt it was my fault; she'd been with him because I'd left her alone. She needed someone and I hadn't been there for her.

"Why do you ask?" she asked.

"It's weird to imagine you with boys"

"Well, I grew up. There are some parts of my body as evidence"

"Are you making fun of me?" I remembered saying that yesterday.

"Yes, I am" she said. Well, I didn't care, she was right, she was really changed… Well, only her body. And what a body.

"And would you like to have a new boyfriend?"

"I don't know… Everybody likes to be loved, right?" she looked sad for a moment "But I don't need a boyfriend now… I need you, I need friends"

She walked closer to me and I put my arms around her. I wanted to know why she looked sad, but she would tell me if she wanted to, if she didn't I wouldn't force her.

"Are you alright?" was all I whispered.

"Now I am"


	7. Doubts

**I started going to school yesterday, so I'll be more busy for now on. Anyway, I'll try to update everytime I can, I swear!**

**This is a kind of short chapter, I'm so sorry! I wrote it at school and will have to do that always I think, I just dont have time but I can't leave you guys in the middle of the story, I know! I'll do my best to write longer chapters.  
**

**Enjoy and thanks for the reviews.**

* * *

I arrived at the hotel early, it was around 10 a.m., I wanted to take Emma out for breakfast. I'd even brushed my hair today and, believe me, I _never_ do that; Emma had always bothered me about that, I wanted she to see I could change if I wanted to.

I walked in and looked around; the place was huge and, his father must have loads of money! I walked toward the receptionist and aksed her about Emma.

"Miss Darling's not in her room right now" she told to me.

"Oh... Do you know where she is?"

"Yes, she asked us to call a cab about two hours ago. I believe she was going to the hospital"

That horrible feeling in my body came back. Have you even felt like something is seriously falling inside your body? As if your sould was falling... I felt that way, I felt horrible.

"Is she alright?" I asked.

"I think so"

"What do you mean you _think_ so? Is she or not alright?"

"Sir, please, keep your voice down"

"Is she or nor alright!?"

"Her nose was bleeding"

"Oh, fuck..." I bitted my lower lip and ran outside. I was running toward my car when I saw Emma coming down from a cab. I ran to her and held her tighly in my arms "What the hell happened to you? Why did you go to the hospital? Why didn't you call me? Is your nose alright?"

"_This_ is exactly why I didn't call you" she smiled.

"Is this funny for you? I almost had a heart-attack, Emma!"

She sighed and took both my hands with hers. She looked me in the eyes, her face was serious but also kind "I'm ok, Dougie... You brushed your hair, it looks nice"

I smiled at her surprised look "It always does, baby"

She laughed "Now why dont you take me to eat something? I'm starving"

"Wait... Why do I feel that you are not telling me something?"

"That's funny, I feel the same way about you. Why dont you tell me what you are hiding?"

Ok, she got me "Let's go to eat"

"Yes, that's what I thought" I rather be a coward that being rejected.... I'm no way telling her about my feelings.

Anyway, why is it that she always wins even if we are not competing? She's so damn smart!... She took my hand again, forcing me to push my thoughts to the back of my mind again. I loved it when she did that, though it was something normal between us.

I took her to the nicest place in London; she deserved it, I could afford it and I wanted to impress her. I noticed she didn't ever took off her coat; I wondered if she was still hiding the big bruise or if she had blood over it. She didn't eat much or maybe I wasn't use to eating with normal people anymore... Though Giovanna was keeping Tom under a serious.

"Did you love anny of the girls you dated?" she asked me.

"Well... I think I felt something for Louise, but I was never around by then, the band was keeping me so busy. Though no, I never _really_ got to feel anything for any of them"

"How long is it going to be until that happens to us?"

"What do you mean by _that_?"

"How long is it going to be until you won't be around me anymore?"

"Don't you trust me?"

"Should I?"

"Of course! I won't let anything come between us ever again, I promise"

"Don't make promises you can't keep"

I was upset and she didn't seem to happy either. Why is she saying this to me now? Everything was just perfect two minutes ago! Is she trying to tell me she's leaving or something like that? Does she still hate me that much?"

"I want to go home" she said "I want to rest"

I paid and drove her to the hotel. I didn't even understand whow we had started fighting, it was so unlike us, but she was silent and I was too damn proud to break the ice.

"I'm not upset" she said before leaving "Pick me up later if you want"

Being on my own with my feelings wasn't something I wanted, so I drove to Tom's house and found him writing a new song in the living-room.

"Where's Emma?" was the first thing he said.

"Nice to see you too" I said abd sat next to him "I'm not married to her, you know?"

"Well, I hope one day you will, she's awesome" he said.

"She's not even my girlfriend yet"

"You should hurry up, dude, or someone else will get her"

"You think?"

"Of course, she's the kind of girl every guy wants"

"You already have Giovanna, remember?"

"Oh, I forgot" he raced an eyebrow and I laughed. He was right though, Emma was the kind of girl you would want to keep if you were a guy, but I was too insecure and immature to do something about it, I hadn't made up my mind yet and now Tom had said that to me, I felt the pressure of time... It was all about time. How long was I going to fool around with her? How long would I resist watching her from the distance? How long would it take until someone else got her attention? How long was it going to be until she fell in love with someone who wasn't _me_? How long was it going to be until I admitted I was in love with her?

"I think she's hiding something..." I sighed.

"Stop doing _that_, you always screw up every relationship you ever have"

"Thanks for the support"

"What I mean is that if she has something to tell you, she will, Doug... We all see how you are when you are together, she's not the type of girl who would hide something... At least not from you. And if she did, I bet she has her reasons and that she will tell you sooner or later"

"Yes, I guess you are right"

"Just remember that she wont wait forever"


	8. You Are Too Much For Me

**I wrote 2 chapters at school, but I dont have time to write them again on the computer, school sucks badly haha. Anyway, I have loads of homework and 4 serious exams coming. I'll do my best to update, hope you all know that!**

**Thanks to Vicky for following once of my stories again! You rock!**

**Enjoy and review.**

**P.S.: DAMMIT! I dont know why chapters keep coming kind of short, I swear I'll try to write longer chapters!  
**

* * *

"Miss Darling says you can come up" the receptionist said.

"Thanks"

I'd tried calling her all day long but she didn't answer. Giovanna convinced me that she wasn't ignoring me, that Emma was only sleeping as she sayd she would. At about 7p.m. she called me. I was on my way home by then but I changed my plans as soon as I heard her voice. By then, there was nothing I wouldn't do for her. I knocked on her door: room 303 on the tenth floor. It was a huge hotel.

"The door's opened" she said from inside.

I opened it and entered into a nice living-room. Thar hotel had to be expensive. There was also a kitchen, a bathroom and a bedroom, right where Emma was lying on her bed.

"Hi" she said and smiled. She had a sleepy face and was looking cutter than ever "You came really fast"

"Of course I did, I have to take care of you" I sat over the bed after taking my shoes off "Are you ok? You don't look too good"

"I've got fever, but it'll go away" she said "I ordered pizza"

"That sounds good... Emma, I'm sorry about the stupid fight we had. I don't even remember why I am supposed to be mad at you"

She smiled "I told you it was ok, I can't get angry with you"

"Well, you really shouldn't have said that"

"Don't try to take advantage of me, I can _still_ kick your ass"

"_Can you?_ You seem _so_ weak lately and pale also. I'm worried about you"

"I dont want you to worry about me"

"You didn't want me to cut your barbie's head but I still did it"

"Yes, _but_ I punched you quite hard for that"

I remembered that had hurt and she had forced me to replace her toy. That had being the very first time I bought something for her.

"Do you still have the teddy-bear I gave you?" I asked her.

"Of course, it's in that closet. I always take it everywhere with me"

I stood up and opened the closet; yes, the teddy-bear was right there, but there were also several different types of pills. A horrible feeling crossed my mind but I forcer myself to forget about it for at least now. I closed the closet's door and realized my heart was beating fast. As I laid down on the bed again, she moved closer to me and rested her head on my chest. I allowed myself to put my arms around her and felt as if I was the luckiest bastard ever.

"I need you around me, Dougie. Will you stay with me tonight?"

"I'll stay for as long as you like... Oh, though I've got to work in the morning"

She laughed "I understand. Will you come back later?"

"I'll_ always_ come back to you"

* * *

She was still sleeping when I left at 9a.m. She loked so beautiful, thought still so pale, I couldn't help worrying about her, this wasn't her usual skin-color.

As soon as I opened the door, a guy with a camera took a picture of me, kind of confusing me with the flash.

"Hey, what are you doing?" I said annoyed. Wasn't it too early to start bothering me?

"Sorry, I'm just doing my job" It annoys me so much when people's job is to brother other people. Stupid photographer...

I looked at him one last time and walked to my car. About twenty minutes later, I was on the recording studio. Only Tom was there; Harry was stuck in traffic and Danny was still in his house. Meanwhile, I told Tom all about the pills, the fever, the bruise, the bleeding... I was starting to believe this was what was wrong with her.

"Or maybe her immune system has been having problems, that's it" Tom said.

"I dont know, dude, it's weird..."

"I'll talk to her after work... You could get change meanwhile, I know you slept with her last night"

"How do you know _that_?"

"You are wearing the same clothes you wore yesterday, Doug..."

"Oh, _right_. I didn't_ sleep _with her anyway. I dont know, I mean, I like her _a lot_ but she's my best friend, it's complicated. I dont think telling her about my feelings is such a good idea"

"Maybe she's too much for you"

"Hey, what's_ that_ suppose to mean?" I raced an eyebrow, getting a bit annoyed. I'd never thought Tom would _ever_ say something like that to anyone yet he had just told me that, _me_, his best friend!

"Nothing, forget about it..." he smiled and Harry came in just a second later.

I drove home after work and took a long shower. Tom was with Emma by then and I was jealous, thought I felt stupid by that. I wanted to see her again. It was surprising how much I'd fallen in love in so little time... Though now I knew, I understood, that I had carried these feelings for many years, I'd been too blind _and_ stupid to see it before.

The hot water felt incredible, thought not as much as Emma's skin. I felt as if everything reminded me of her. I had to do something about it, I couldn't take this anymore.

I walked to my bedroom and saw I had a new message in my cellphone; it was Emma saying that she was going out with Tom that night, that we would meet tomorrow. '_What the hell..._' I thought once again annoyed '_Tom stold my girl!_' I tried to call down, I was being stupid, Tom already had Giovanna and it was _obvious_ that _she_ was the one for him.

'_Since when they are so close though?_' I thought. Emma barely knew him and she usually spends a lot of time with someone before going out with them alone, this wasn't smething she would usually do.

What the hell was going on here?


	9. Where I'm going I don't know

**Didn't have time to even study, so excuse me but this chapter is also short... I'm in the middle of difficult weeks, school is already driving me mad!**

**Sorry!**

**I'll try my best to update as soon as I can with longer chapter, jeez...**

**Enjoy anyway!**

* * *

When I woke up, half the house was full of my dogs' poo. I spend about an hour making sure there was no more poo anywhere else in the house, then I had to clean the floor of the kitchen, the living-room and the dining-room. I'd never cleaned so much in my whole life before.

I laied down on the sofa and ate sandwiches. I'd never noticed how quiet my house was before, how lonely I felt. That was when I remembered what Emma had said; 'everybody likes to be loved'. But I didn't wasnt just love, I wanted her love.

It was nearly 4 in the afternoon and she still hadn't called me. I wasn't upset, but I was nervous; last time I'd hearad from her, she was with Tom. And now what, I don't hear from her anymore?

'Mayber I could take a walk while I wait for her call' I thought. Tom's house wasn't that far away, all of our houses were quite close to each other, so I could also visit him in the way and ask him about Emma and last night.

Something caught my attention in the way, a magazine in a store. I entered into the little place and bought it. 'Oh, dammit' I thought as soon as I saw quite many photos of me and Emma; one of us hugging in the park the day she arrived, another kissing, one of me carrying her in my arms and another of only me leaving the hotel. This is what is said bellow the last one: 'Our so loved bassist from McFLY was also seen coming out of his friend's hotel after staying the whole night with her! Whare those two up to? And who is this lovely girl?

'Stupid photographer' I didn't mind sharing my private life with the rest of the people, but I didn¡t like it when people did this, just write whatever they want without caring about what I or Emma may thing about it.

I kept walking towards Tom's house but he still wasn't home.

"He called me last night" Giovanna told me "He stayed in a friend's house"

"Have you been crying?" I asked her before I could think of anything else. I really liked Gio -as a friend, of couse-, she was such a nice person. Her eyes looked slighty red and so did her cheeks.

"It's nothing" she said "Seriously, Doug... Well, Tom should be back soon"

"You know he was with Emma last night, don't you?"

"Yes, Doug, he told me"

I wondered if he had really stayed in one of his friends' house or with Emma. I wouldn't like the second choice, that would bother me a lot.

"Alright" I said "I'll leave now then"

She nodded, she didn't seem too happy. I wanted to know if it may had something to do with Tom, or maybe even Emma, but I didn't ask, I didn't think I would be appropriate. I dot know, this whole thing was weird.

"Call me if you need anything" I said before finally leaving.

I was still walking when a young girl stopped me.

"Hi" she smiled and by the way she was looking at me, I knew she was a fan of McFLY "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure" I smiled; I adore fans, they usually are so funny.

"Can you give me a kiss, please?" Except when they ask things like that. Not funny.

"Well, not really, I dont think that will be... Appropriate" What an useful word.

"Is it because of that new girlfriend you have?"

"What girlfriend?"

"The one in the magazine!" she was nearly crying, it was quite weird to be honest.

"She's not my girlfriend, she's my best friend"

"But you kissed her!"

"No, she was only kidding. Seriously, I'm still single"

"Then kiss me!"

"I really can't"

"Dammit!"

She took me a picture and then left. I kept walking. About half an hour later, Emma called me. I felt relief to finally hear from her, but also a little upset; what took her so long? It was about 7p.m.!

"Hi, Doug" she said. She sounded tired. I wondered if Tom had spent the day with her, I was so sure about it, like I knew it for a fact somehow. I wanted to know what they had been doing so badly.

"Hello" I said, not too cheerful as you can imagine...

"Why did you say hello? You only say hello when you are upset"

"And how would you feel? I've been waiting all day long for your call"

"Sorry, I was busy"

"You were with Tom, weren't you?"

"Yes, I was"

"And what were you doing that I coudln't be there with you two?"

"Since when did you become so controlling? Now I can't spend the day with a friend?"

"I am your friend, I have my right to know. Since when do you trust people so easily anyway? You barely know Tom"

"You trust him, so I do too. Look, I called you because I miss you and I dont want to be alone"

"Ask Tom, maybe he wasnts to be with you tonight too"

Three seconds of silence before she answered.

"Screw you, Poynter" and she hung up.


	10. Funny Feeling

**I felt bad about writing so many short chapters lately, so I'm updating two and this is longer than the rest.**

**Please review and, of course, enjoy!  
**

* * *

I know, I'm a jerk, no need to tell me. But I'm a jerk with a good heart and I started to regret my behaviour two minutes after I put my cellphone back in my pocket. This girl was seriously going to drive me mad, but I've always hated fighting with her, I just couldn't take it... So I bought roses, took a cab and 5 minutes later I was on my way to her hotel. The receptionist told me Emma was in her room and I dont know why but I became very anxious.

"Hi" I said whe she opened the door. She was wearing her pijamas and I tried my best to ignore the big new bruise in her leg "I'm sorry about what happened"

"You are behaving like an asshole lately, Poynter"

"I know, I'm sorry"

"Shut up. Don't you remember what I said?"

"What exactly? You talk a lot, you know?"

I knew she was holding back her laughter, she was trying to keep the badass look, but she sighed and smiled a little bit "Love means never having to say you're sorry"

She closed the door behind me but neither of us said anything else. I looked at her and she looked at me.

"Is your leg alright?"

"Yes, it is... Can I ask you something?"

"Always"

"Will you stay with me tonight?"

I tried not to show her how happy her request made me, how happy it made me to know she wanted me there with her, how happy it made me to stay all the time by her side.

"Of course I will"

"Do you have to work tomorrow?"

"Oh, damn... Yes, I do. Do you want to come?"

"Sure" she smiled and grabbed the roses "Thank you, they are very pretty"

She put them in a vase with water and I laid down on her bed. She sat next to me some minutes later and turned off the lights.

"Sorry, but I think I'll go to sleep early today, Doug"

"No worries, I'm tired too"

I took off most of my clothes and put the cover over us. I realized she was holding the teddy-bear I'd given her. I put my arm around her and kissed her cheek.

"You look very pretty" I whispered. I couldn't help it, I didn't even realize I'd said that until I heard the words coming out of my mouth.

"So you are saying I didn't look pretty yesterday?" she said.

"Shut up"

"I was kidding"

I was dying to kiss her, this was the second night I ever slept with her in the same bed and I was hoping it wouldn't be the last one.

"I'm sorry about today, ok?" she said.

"Dont worry, I can't get mad at you"

She didn't say anything else and I knew she'd fallen asleep.

"Goodnight, Darling"

* * *

I opened my eyes and saw Emma getting dressed in front of me. She probably thought I was still sleeping and I wasn't going to let her know I wasn't. I knew it was wrong to do this, to watch her, but I couldn't help it, she was truly beautiful. I even thought she would hear my noisy heartbeat when she toof off her shirt, I couldn't believe she had turned into such a perfect woman. I couldn't believe I hadn't been the one to touch her skin, I was angry at myself for leaving her so many years ago, she could have been mine and now I was spying on her, watching her from the distace.

I closed my eyes before she could catch me staring at her and pretended to wake up after she had put on all of her clothes.

"Good morning, Doug" she smiled at me.

"Hi" I said almost choking. Now, whenever I looked at her, I couldn't stop remembering her whole body like that, she was a living goddess "What time is it?"

"About 9 a.m. I called Tom and he told me we've got to be there in a while so put your clothes on"

I laid my head in the pillow and closed my eyes. I felt her whole body over me and opened my eyes again, feeling my whole body starting to react to the fact that she was on top of me. I pushed her again while I blushed and she fell to the side of the bed, almost falling to the ground.

"What the hell, Dougie!? You almost made me fell"

"Sorry" my voice trembled and I tried to control it "You... scared me"

"Oh, yeah? Then why are you blushing?"

"I'm not blushing"

"So since when your face is red?"

"Since now"

I stood up and put my jeans on, I could feel my heart beating fast, and I tried to calm down, though I could still feel her everywhere, it was as if I could still feel her skin over mine, all around me.

"Sorry, I didn't know you would react that way" she said softly.

I sat on the bed and she put her arms around me.

"It's alright" I said "Just dont do that again"

"Why did you react that way, Dougie? I know I didn't scare you"

"I dont know, it's just... Well... You were on top of me, Emma, what did you expect? That doesn't happen everyday... And you are very..." I sighed "Beautiful"

She didn't answer. I wanted to see her, she was right there behind me, but I didn't want to remove her arms, they felt so good.

"We should go" she said. I nodded. Neither of us moved. I felt that was the right time, I should tell her how much she meant to me, how much I loved her... But the doorbell rang and she walked away from me. 'Dammit' I thought.... I should have done it, I was such a coward.

"Oh, hi Tom" I heard her say from the living-room.

Tom. Tom... What the hell was Tom doing here so early? Tom ruined my moment with her! Tom seems very annoying lately.

"Hi, Emma. I was nearby and thought I could come and visit you"

"That's very sweet, but Dougie's here, so..."

"Oh..."

"Yeah..."

I smiled. 'There you go, she wants me' I thought. She was secretly asking him to go, but for some few seconds I could hear nothing at all and I started to ger t nervous. Then I heard the door closing. Emma didn't come back to the room, so I put on my shirt and walked to the kitchen. She was sitting in a chair, looking as pretty as usual, but she somehow didn't seem as happy as she was one minute ago, when we were together in the bedroom.

"What did Tom want?" I asked as I sat next to her.

"Nothing..." she said.

"Did he bother you?"

"No."

"Did he say something that you didn't like"

"Not really"

I looked down. Why didn't she ever tell me anything? Why didn't I ever got the right answer, the truth?

"I know this annoys you" she said.

"Oh, so you notices"

"Dont be ironic with me, Dougie. Tom is... Just trying to be a good friend"

"By ruin our time together?"

"What do you mean? We were just fooling around"

Just fooling around... That was all it was for her, while it meant the world to me.

I put my hands over my face and sighed. I decided I couldn't let Tom ruin my day like this. There was something going on here and it always led me to fight with Emma... I wasn't going to let that happen anymore. If Tom wanted to fight, I would fight. I had no idea why he was doing this, but I didn't like it anyway. She was mine.

"Come on, let's go. I bet I can get to the car before you."

"I dont really feel like running, Doug"

"Why not? You love racing against me because you always win"

"Then why should we run if we already know who's going to win?"

"You are tired again, aren't you?"

She nodded. I felt worried again... The day had just begun and yet she was already tired. Something was wrong with her.

I took her in my arms before she would say anything else and started to walk to the elevator.

"What are you doing, Doug?" she said as she smiled. She had always denied it, but I knew she loved it when I carried her in my arms, I could see in the way she always laughed.

"I will take care of you if you are tired, you won't even touch the ground"

"Since when do you want to take care of me that much, Poynter?"

Since I found myself in love with you.


	11. So Close To You

**Like I promised, I wrote more... I think next chapter's longer, I've already written it at school during Ethics and Biology hahaha. Hope you like it!**

**Enjoy and review.**

* * *

I tried my best to stay calm in the recorsing studio. Everytime Emma and Tom looked at each other suspiciously, I felt like shouting 'what the hell is your problem!'... But I didnt. From time to time, they walked in a more private way, in whispers. Neither Danny or Harry seemed to really notice it while we tried to put some music to Danny's new song.

Despite all the annoying stuff that I mentioned, I still loved the fact that Emma was here with me while I worked. She even gave us some ideas, she was actually good at this.

After a one last private talk with Tom, she walked with me outisde. We'd literally worked all day long, my fingers hurt but it was worth it; McFLY had a new song and it rocked.

"How about we go out to celebrate?" Emma said as we walked to my car.

"Where do you want to go?"

"Anywhere as long as you are there too"

I felt a huge happiness after she said that; she wanted to be with me... Poynter 1, Fletcher 0!

I drove until we got to one of the best restaraunts in London; she was my queen, I would only give her the best and, besides, we all know I'm rich now.

We laughed and talked, I just couldn't take my eyes off her. I walked her to her room upstairs in the tenth floor but I didn't come in.

"Today was awesome, I had so much fun" she said.

"Well, my fingers disagree, they hurt so much"

She took my hands and kissed my fingertips softly. I was just staring at her with a stupid look in my face, I was completely hypnotized.

"That feels... Great"

She smiled and let go my hands.

"Why didn't you take her numer?" she asked.

"What are you talking about?"

"The waitress"

"What's up with her?" I was really confused.

"She was gorgeous"

"I guess" I don'y really remember her, like I'd said, I couldn't take my eyes off Emma.

"She left you a little piece of paper with her number" she put her hand in her coat's pocket and then showed me a little paper "Take it, it's yours"

I took her hand but closed it, the paper still inside her fist.

"I don't want it" I said. She was so close to me, so perfect.

"Why not?"

"I'm not interesting"

"_Everybody_ is always interesing in someone"

"I'll tell you if you tell me first"

"I've never told you who I'm interesting in and I never will"

"Then I won't either" I smiled and kissed her cheek "Goodnight, Emma"

I walked towards the elevator but she stopped me.

"Aren't you going to stay tonight?" she asked me with sweet eyes, almost as if she needed me to stay.

"You didn't ask me"

"I'm asking you _now_"

"Why don't _you_ come with me? You can live with me. Besides, I really need to get a shower"

"Are you sure I wont bother you there?"

"Of course not"

We smiled at each other and one hour later we were on out way to our home with all her stuff... Including the pills. I showed her where the guest's room was and left her there as I went to take a bath. When I came back, she was in my bedroom.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her.

"Your house is way too big, I'm not used to it... Besides, I've got use to sleeping with you now. But I'll leave if you ask me to"

"No, no..." I laid down next to her "Stay"

I put my arms around her and she put the covers over us.

"If I tell you who I love... Do you promise not to hate me?"

Oh my God, she loves Tom!

"Ok..."

She sighed and buried her face in my neck. She kissed it and I did my best to control my heartbeat, I kew she would feel it, we were so, _so_ close.

"Your heart's breating fast" she said, her lips still pressed into my skin "Why's that?"

"Oh, come on, Emma, you know _why_... Will you tell me who you love or not?"

"You... It was _always_ you"

I turned fastly and kissed her with passion. We held each other tightly, there was no part of my body that wasn't touching hers. I kissed every single inch of her face and then made my way back to her lips as she ran her fingers through my hair. Everything felt so good, so right, we should have done this years ago, but I didn't care about that now, I was happy enough that our moment had finally arrived. Passion and excitement ran through my whole body.

I got to the point in which I couldn't help myself... She was so beautiful, so sexy and _mine_. I stopped kissing her, I needed to ask her.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing" I said. We were both breathing heavily, I was dying to kiss her again.

"Then why the hell did you stop, Poynter?" she smiled.

"I was wondering if... We could... Well... You know"

She blushed and kissed me.

"I'll take that as a yes"

And what came next, it's not your business.


	12. Intoxicate My Mind

**I'm about to finish the story, I wrote a lot at school, but don't worry, that doesn't mean the story's ending tomorrow or something like that, though it is shorter than my first story for sure. The thing is that those chapters that I wrote at school this morning are kind of short so I may update 2 chapters together from now on.**

**About this chapter: everybody screws up from time to time, don't blame him.**

**Enjoy and review.**

**Thanks so much for the reviews so far!**

* * *

Waking up next to her after what we did last night was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. Emma was breathing evenly, her eyes were still close and I was only staring at her beautiful back in peace.

"Hey you" she said with a sleepy voice.

"Hi"

She moved closer to me and gave me a quick kiss. She laid over me, with her head on my chest and both her hands caressing my hair. Everything felt delicious.

"What are we, Dougie?"

"Best friends for certain"

"I dont have sex with my best friends"

"How many do you have"

"Well, only you"

"Then you do have sex with your bestfriend"

She laughed "Come on, you know what I mean"

"Yes, I do..."

Why did we have to talk about this? Yesterday had been our first time _together_ and yet she was _already _asking me what we were. Couldn't we just enjoy out time geother?

"I dont want to freak you out" she said as if she'd known what I'd thought "but I've really waited for this to happen for so long..."

"Me too" well, probably I hadn't waited as long as she had, but _still_, I loved her so much.

"So if someone asks... What are we?"

"Do you want to be my girlfriend?"

"Only if you want, Dougie"

We look at each other... I would probably never break up with her, I wouldn't dare... So this was it? I was never _ever_ going be single again? I whould get old by her side from time on? It didn't sound bad, but it was scary for me anyway.

"I do" I said... I was scared, but I was also afraid of loosing her because of my stupidity. It had happened once, I didn't want it to happen twice.

"Before that, I should tell you something..."

"Alright"

She looked insecure and hesitated before talking.

"I love you" she restes her head in my chest again. Though I was glad she's said that, I had the feeling that it wasn't what she was really going to tell me. She was still hiding something.

"I love you too" I kissed her forehead and closed my eyes once more.

I woke up on my own and that kind of freaked me out. There was a piece of paper next to me, it had Emma's handwriting and it explained that she had gone out to buy food.

I took a shower and while I was getting dressed, a low music filled the room. I turned to see what it was and saw Emma's cellphone in the floor. I picked it up and couldn't resist the curiosity, so I opened the new message that had just arrived. I felt annoyed once again when I recognized Tom's number. The message said '_Good morning, Emma, where are you? Giovanna's not going to be home tonight, do you want to come? We should talk_'

I checked the rest of her messages; Tom, Tom, a guy called Jacob, more Jacob, then more Tom, Tom and Tom, then her mum, then Tom again for God's sake, then Jacob again... I had the feeling this guy was his ex, the one who broke up with her. _Asshole_. I checked Tom's messages; '_I'll be there in 10 minutes' 'Yes, it was fun' 'I dont like that place either' 'Giovanna is mad at me' 'We should tell Dougie_'... I couldn't stop thinking about that last message. Tell me _what_? Something that Giovanna, Tom and Emma knew... Something that they were hiding from _me_. But _why_? Was it _that_ bad? Was it what Emma had been about to tell me last night? She'd been lying to me even _before_ we started dating...

What a fool I'd been.

I left her a message saying I needed some time on my own and left the house after that. I spent the day driving around the city. She called me several times and so did my friends. I could tell by Danny's message that they were pretty worried about me; it said: '_dude, where are you? Call us soon_'... But I ignored everyone and even deleted Tom's messages. Emma was the one who called me the most, but I just wanted her to give up, to stop chasing for a while, I wasn't going to pick up the phone, she didn't have to even call.

I drove to the bar that was in the corner of the street in which I lived. I ordered something with tequila and drank 3 glasses of that. I could feel the alcohol making effect on me, I get drunk pretty easily and tequila was my weakness.

A pretty girl sat next to me and smiled in my direction. Her hair was black and short, just as her skirt.

"Hello, pretty boy" she said.

"Hi" I said.

"Can I buy another drink?"

"Sure" she put another glass in front of me and I just drank it fastly. I regretted it almost immediatly, it was pure vodka and it made effect on me since the very first moment I drank it.

"It's good, isnt it?" she said.

"Sure..."

"You know what else is good?"

"What?"

"Me. Do you want to taste me?"

I laughed "I can't, I've got a girlfriend."

"Too bad... Where is she now?"

"I have no idea" probably with Tom... I bet there's something going on between them, Giovanna found out about it and that was why she had been crying "I think she's cheating on me"

"If she is, then technically she isnt your girlfriend, she's a bitch"

"I guess you are right"

"So we can be together tonight after all..." she caressed my hair "How about we go to your place and I'll let you taste me?

I smiled and grabbed her hand "Come on"


	13. Sins And Misery

**PLEASE READ: I dont know if I can leave links here, last time I did it, it didn't work... So please check the rest of my stories, there's one that says 'HELP ME CHOOSE A STORY'. Go in there, read the summaries for different stories I'd thought about writing in the future and choose the one you like the most. It will only take you a minute!** **And besides, that way you'll know if you are going to be interesting in my future stories or not.**

**About _this_ story... I warned you the future chapters were short... I'll try to write the next chapter in the computer later -I've already written it at school. I've got a History exam tomorrow and gym class. Buy I promise you I'll try to post it later! 80% chances that I will do it.**

**The end's coming soon! I've already written it at school today...**

**Enjoy and review.**

**Thanks again for all the reviews so far, you guys are awesome!**

* * *

We ran like idiots to my house, which was only meters away from the bar. She opened the door because I was way too drunk and couldn't manage to put the key in the right place. She started kissing me and running her hands all over my body. I didn't stop her. I took of my shirt but she froze when we got to the living-room.

Danny and Emma were there, both frozen too. He had one arm over her shoulder, her face was red and so were her eyes; she'd been crying and a lot. They both were staring at me as if they had just seen a ghost.

"You should go" I told the girl. I felt so stupid, I didn't even know her name. She didn't say anything, just kissed my cheek and left.

Neither Danny or Emma said a word. She tood up and ran upstairs. I ran behing her and almost fell in the way, the alcohol was making effect on me, I couldn't even stand properly. When I entered in her room, she was throwing her clothes in her bad as she cried in silence, her whole body shaking.

"Emma, I'm so sorry" I said.

"No!" she shouted furiously "You are not sorry!" You would have slept with she if we hand't been here!"

"But I was drunk! Well, I _am_ drunk"

"All this time I've been looking for you _everyhere_! And you didn't pick up the fucking phone, not even _once_! I cried my eyes out for you! _Again_!"

"Emma, I got angry and then drunk, I really _am _sorry, I love you"

She pushed me when she walked by my side.

"Dont you _dare_ call this love! I wont make a fool of myself _twice_! For all the things that you've done to me" she picked up her bad "I think I've gained to see _fuck you_!"

"Where are you going?" I asked her as she ran down the stairs.

"Anyway, but I can't stay here"

"Please, wait!" I took her by the arm but she didn't stop, she tried to keep on walking; she was too weak, I was stronger.

"Let me go, Dougie!"

"Emma, please, dont go!"

"Dougie, you are hurting her" Danny pushed me and I lost my balance. Emma fell too because I was still holding her arm, and she hit her face with the wall. Her nose immediately started to bleed uncontrolably. It was quite weird, she was bleeding way too much and yet she had slighty touched the wall to be honest.

"Oh, damn" she mumbled between sobs.

"Come on, I've got you" Danny took her in his arms and they left.

I felt so lonely and lost. She was right; my house was too big. I needed her here with me to make everything better, but she wasn't coming back after this. I was on my own now. I couldn't believe all the shit that I'd done in so little time. I kept hurting her over and over again... Maybe this was the best thing for everybody; if she wasn't with me anymore, loving again would be meaningless, but at least I would never hurt her again.

When I woke up in the morning, I felt like crap in every single way. The dogs were hungry, my floor was covered with blood, my body hurt because I'd slept in the floor, I smelt like crap and I'd won the competition for 'The Biggest Asshole In History'. I felt like crying every single time I thought about last night... I'd even hurt Emma _physically_.

I'd decided to ler her go but a feeling inside my heart was telling me I would regret it later. She was the one for me, I could see it now, everything was so clear... Was it right to let that just go away?

I fed the dogs, cleaned the floor and took a shower. I also cried a lot.

I left the house, I didn't feel like being there without her and after everything that had happened there last night. While I was walking, I saw a jewellery store and my heartbeat sped up as the best -and maybe only- good idea I'd had in this whole year crossed my mind.

* * *

**P.S.: Am I the only one who notices the chapter's names? I actually spend time choosing them.**


	14. Fairytale Got Twisted

**I maganes to write this chapter before my gym class, now I'm leaving and I hope that when I come back, I'll se many new reviews! -kidding.**

**Three chapters until the end of the story.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

I needed to show her that I _really _loved her.

I needed to show her that I _really _loved her and that I _wasn't_ afraid of commitment.

I came back home and changed my clothes; now I was wearing my most elegant black trousers and a white shirt. I was kind of nervous but happy to do this... Well, I would be happy if she said yes, I still couldn't get to eager about it... I was going to ask her to marry me. This was my last chance to do everything as I should have from the begining. Actually, I didn't even know if I still had a chance, but I couldn't give up, she wasn't just my best-friend anymore, she was my soulmate.

Emma didn't pick up the phone when I called her and it didn't suprise me either. I drove to Danny's house, he was the last person I'd seen with her.

"Hi, Dougie" he said. He didn't look happy to see me, but didn't look angry either.

"Is Emma here?" I asked him. I could feel the little box with the ring inside my pocket.

"No" Dan said.

"Danny, please, I need to talk to her"

"I'm serious, dude, she's not staying with me"

"Is she... _Gone_?" fear took me by surprise, I hadn't thought about the possibility that she had came back to France until then "Is she back in France?"

"No"

Then anxiety overpowered me again.

"Then were is she?" I asked without patience.

"She doesn't want to see you, dude..."

"Danny, _please_!" I showed him the ring and I would have laughed at the look on his face if I wasn't so damn worried inside.

"Are you serious?"

"It's Classic and not too blink. The centre stone is a 1.21ct round diamond and there are 0.4ct pears on either side of the center stone. Total weight of the ring is 2.01ct... It's amazing and I know she will love it, she has always liked these kinds of things, but she always said it was too much money for one little ring."

"Doug, this is no joke. If you ask her to marry you, you can't change your mind later"

"I wont, she the **one**" now that I was actually saying it out loud, I felt even more and more confident. "Please, tell me where she is"

Danny sighed "She's staying at Tom's house"

That annoying feeling crossed my mind again, but I ignored it, I couldn't screw up anymore for just a hunch.

"Thanks Danny!" I ran back to the car.

"Hey, Doug!" he called me from his ohuse "I hope she says yes!"

'_So do I_' I thought kind of scared.

I drove to Tom's house. Giovanna was watering the flowers of the front garden and looked at me in the same way Danny had; not happy but not angry either.

"Hi, Gio" I said.

"Hi"

"Can I come in?"

She hesitated "I dont think that's such a good idea, Doug..."

"I just want to talk to her, please..."

I showed her the ring hoping it would make the same effect on her that it did on Danny.. And it worked, she almost burst out into tears.

"Oh my God, Dougie!!!"

"I know" I couldn't help smiling "Let me in, Giovanna, let me see her.... I'm _begging_ you..."

She hesitated again...

"Alright. Go in, the door's open"

"Thank you so much!" I kissed her cheek and kind of ran inside.

I closed the door behing me quietly. This was weird; whenever I came here, everything was about fun and usually music, but this time the house was empty and quiet, I could hear nothing, only weak voices that came from upstairs. I went up the stairs **[author-note: is that how you say it when you go to the stairs? remember I speak Spanish, not English :D] **and walked toward the only slightly open door. Yes, Emma was there, I could hear her voice... Abd Tom's too.

"... He wouldn't have done it it you had told him from the begining" Tom was saying. I had the feeling they were talking about it.

"I tried to tell him, Tom" Emma said, her voice sounded sad "I just couldn't hurt him that way... You saw how Giovanna reacted!"

"He deserves to know. How long are we going to pretend nothing's going on?"

"I dont know!"

"Just tell him, Emma!"

"He will freak out and hate me for not telling him before"

I walked backwards, with tears in my eyes; it was true, it was _fucking_ true, they seriously were together, she'd chosen Tom and had been with him all along, she'd played with _me_ all this time... And I was the one who had felt guilty all day long, the one that was _stupid_ enough to be about to ask her to marry me...

"Did you talk?" Giovanna, who had just appeared, asked me.

Tom and Emma must have heard her because they both came out of the room. They looked surprised to see me.

"Dougie" Emma said "What are you doing here?"

"Nothing" I was trying to hold back my tears, I couldn't even speak properly, no one had ever hurt me this much "I'm leaving"


	15. Baby Don't You Cry

**Sorry, I'm late and only posting one chapter, I know! But I found out today about this homework for tomorrow and I also have to study for _another_ stupid exam. I didn't do too well at today's exam, but _whatever_, I have the highest mark in that class anyway, so it's not big deal!**

**There are only three chapters -including this one- until the end of the story!**

**Have you voted like I asked you? _Please_ do it! I would also like to say that the story 'Blind' [see summary in my story call 'HELP ME CHOOSE A STORY'] has the possibility to be the sequel to this story.**

**Enjoy and review. Thanks.**

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"Dougie" Emma said "What are you doing here?"

"Nothing" I was trying to hold back my tears, I couldn't even speak properly, no one had ever hurt me this much "I'm leaving"

"You didn't ask her?" Giovanna said confused.

"Ask me what?" Emma asked.

"To marry him!" Giovanna put her hand over her mouth "Damn, I wasn't suppose to say that, was I? I'm so sorry, Dougie!"

"It doesn't matter" I said and threw the box with the ring to Emma's feet "Keep it, I dont want it"

I turned away but Emma shouted my name and ran to stop me.

"Please, wait! Did you hear what we said?" she asked.

"Yes" I needed to leave, I couldn't hold back the tears for too long.

"Oh, God, Dougie, I'm so sorry!" she started to cry "I wanted to tell you before, I swear, but just couldn't. I wanted to be the one to tell you, I can't believe you found out about this in that way, please forgive me"

"I don't care anymore" I said.

"How could you say that? You really don't care?" she seemed so hurt. I looked away, I couldn't see her like that, her eyes so sad; I hated her but I also still loved her so much, and I just couldn't see her crying like that.

"I hope you'll be very happy with Tom"

"What?" the three of them said at the same time.

"Don't pretend anymore!" I shouted furiously "I fucking heard you!"

"You think I'm with Tom?" Emma said.

"I'm not stupid, stop it, Emma!"

"But Dougie-"

"I know I have been an idiot" I said before she could say anything else "but I dont deserve this, alright?"

"Dougie-"

"I loved you and I still do, but I hate you for doing this to me! I was going to ask you to marry me and now you-"

"I'm dying"

I stopped. My heart seemed to stop too.

"What?" I almost choked.

"I'm not dating Tom... I'm dying" her eyes were sad, but also honest. I could tell it was true just by looking at them.

"But... But _why_?"

"I've got leukemia"

I didn't know I had more tears but more arrived to my eyes very soon. I suddenly felt so scared, so unprotected.

"But that's a treatable disease, isn't it?"

"Not my type of leumemia... The doctors can't seem to find the way to heal me"

"And... Why did you and Tom disappear from time to time?"

"I knew there was something wrong with her" Tom said "My grandmother died of leukemia and she had the same symptoms; fever, bruises, she was always tired, bleeding easily... I took her to the best hospital. They tried a couple of things with her but they didn't work"

I sat -kind of _fell_ really- on the floor. Emma knelt down by my side, tears running down her face, her sweet beautiful face.

"How long have you known?" I asked.

"A couple of months... Please, dont be angry at me, Dougie... I came to London for you, I wanted to see you at least one last time. I dont know if I'm going to be here to see the 'New Moon' on the cinema, I dont know if I'll be able to listen to your new CD. I certainly will _never_ have a baby. I dont know if I'm going to wake up from sleeping the next week... But I couldn't die without telling you how much I've always loved you, Dougie..."

Tears ran down my face uncontrollably. I put my arms around her, afraid that she could die the very next day. I wanted to be strong, but I couldn't help it, I was out of control.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I am so sorry, Dougie..."

I did my best to stop crying, at least for one moment. I took her face in my hands and looked straigh into her eyes.

"Love means never having to say you're sorry"


	16. Words Of Love

**Charpter 17 -the one that comes after this one- is the last.**

**If you haven't voted in my story name 'HELP ME CHOOSE A STORY' -which is not really a story, it has many different summaries and you have to choose the story you find more interesting-, please do it, it will only take you a minute.**

**Enjoy and review. Thanks.**

* * *

By the next day, we had already bought the most beautiful white dress in London, called all our friends and family ans asked a local small church to let us get married the next weekend.

On thursday I had almost slept with another random girl... Today, 9 days later, on Saturday, we were getting married.

"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you before" Tom said as he helped me to get dress without ruining the suit, something that sound pretty much like me.

We couldn't organize a bid wedding in 9 days, those kinds of weddings take a lot of time to be planned, no matter how much money I had, we couldn't do it, we didn't had that among of time, we didn't know how much Emma would... Live. But we liked it this way, a simple and nice wedding, only the people who love us the most would be there, those who really care about us would come as fast as they would, and many did.

"Not today, Tom" I said "Anyway, I know you were just trying to protect me, I'm not mad at you, dude"

"Did you talk about the honeymoon?" Harry asked.

"Yes, she wants to stay here in London... You know, she wants to be around her friends while... She can"

"Does your family know about the disease?"

"No, only we and her family know about it I think. I'll tell them all later. Today is a happy day" I smiled. I meant what I said; today was my day, our day, Emma's and mine, screw the leukemia today.

Excitement ran through my body as I waited for the moment in which Emma appeared. I hated being away frome her, I needed to had her close to me and take care of her all the time. I hadn't seen her in hours and it was driving me mad. I was thrill to see her again... And when I did, when I finally saw her there, standing at the entrance of the church with her lovely dress that made her look like an angel, a goddess or any beautiful thing you can think of, with a haircut that fit her beautifully, with a smile in her face, a little tear ran down my cheek... But this time, it was a tear of happiness.

And then she walked forwards. We couldn't stop looking at each other. If beauty had a human shape, it would try to copy her and still fail. She was the best woman ever and she was mine.

I repeated the words everybody's supposed to say when they get married in a church, but I wasn't even listening to what I was saying. The moment she said 'I do', she smiled once again and, like me, cried of happiness. I put my arms around her and kissed her as the rest of the people shouted happily. Like I'd said, today was a happy day.

She was tired that night as a consequense of all the excitement and her disease. I undressed her, took her in my arms and then laid her down on the bed. We held each other softly and I kissed her chekk around a hundred times maybe.

"Emma Poynter" she said and smiled "It sounds good"

"You know what else sounds good?"

"What?"

"The idea of kissing you all night long, Mrs. Poynter"

She laughed and kissed me. We didn't move but didn't remove our lips either, we froze in time, in love for ever.

Sometimes I wish we could have died together that night.


	17. A Hole In My Mind

Emma had always hated hospitals, so when she asked me to take her there, I knew that it was starting... Well, that it was actually _ending_, if you know what I mean...

I took her hand again when the doctor left. She was under a lot of painkillers.

"Is it better now?" I asked.

We were in the best hospital with the best doctors, but my money couldn't buy time and that was all we really wanted. But at lwast she wasn't in pain, at least I could do something to do this easier for her.

"Yes, baby, I'm fine" she said and smiled. She was being incredibly strong or at least that was what she showed me. I wondered if it was because she didn't want to die miserable or because she was trying to make this easier for me; everybody knew, though nobody had said it out loud, that the right moment in which her heart stopped beating, I would be broken, I'd cry until I had no more tears left.

"Is there anything you want?"

"No, all I want is here with me; just you, Doug" then she laughed "I'd never imagined I was going to die as the character I love"

"Who?"

"Jennifer Cavelleri, from Love Story, honey"

"Oh, right... Well, you are hell prettier than her"

"Thanks" I kissed her... I was afraid of not doing it all the time, afraid I wouldn't get to say goodbye. She'd been here for a couple of days and I'd only left the room to go to the bathroom; I'd slept there, changed my clothes there, eaten there, always right next to her. I didn't want to leave her, I couldn't, it hurt, it made me nervous "Will you promise me something?"

"Of course, baby, whatever you want"

"Promise me you wont be a depressed widower. Depression makes people get old faster and you are too cute for that"

I nodded "I'll do my best"

"And I want you to fall in love again"

"I dont know about that..."

"Come on, you'll be fine sooner and later... Even if it takes you ten years to get over me" By then, you'll be about 31 and still look awesome"

"Thanks, my love"

"And dont you dare writing depressing songs about me... I wasnt happy songs!"

"Only happy song, got it"

I caressed her cheek. It hurts so much to see the one person you love the most in the whole world dying slowly, minute by minute, and you can't do anything about it. I dont know how but I could feel it was going to be over soon and it scared the hell out of me. I didn't know what I was going to do without her and I didn't want to think about it either. I knew she didn't want me to cry or at least not in front of her, and I wasn't to let her down _now_. I had to be strong for her as she was being strong for me.

She sighed and then laughed "I used to tell my mum I was still waiting for a miracle, waiting for Dr. House to come out of the TV and heal me... But it's too late for a miracle now"

I kissed her again... I was so afraid. I already felt lost. She took my hand and caressed my hair with her other free hand... I was going to miss that so much.

"I'm sad I've got to go, but I _am_ happy, Doug. I got married, I had a happy childhood with you, my friends are from the best band in England, all the ones I love are here for me, specially you, you've always been with me"

"Not _always_" I hated myself when I remembered all the time I'd wasted while I was away from her, all the years I could have shared with her while I'd been fooling around with girls like Keeley, Hannah...

"Yes, you were always with me, you've _always_ being in my heart"

I smiled "When did you fall in love with me?"

She laughed "When we were twelve, during the Christmas play at school... Ruby said my costume was awful, that I looked like crap. I was crying when you found me. You held me tight and told me I was the prettiest girl in town"

I remembered that day, specially because I'd fallen in the middle of the stage in front of everyone... Emma's costume was really bad, I'd never told her that, but she still looked so pretty anyway. She always had, she always will.

"Dougie, I love you"

I touched her nose with mine and kissed her again. I could feel it, I knew it, she was saying goodbye to me.

"I love you too, Emma"

* * *

I closed the door behing me slowly, I was in shock. Everybody was looking at me; my friends, my family, _her_ friends, _her_ family, even Jacob, her ex-boyfriend, was there. Jazzie put her arm around me and kissed my cheek. Heavy tears ran down my face silently.

"She's gone"

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**I think this is the first and only sad ending I'm ever going to write. I love happy endings.**

**Thanks for reading the story anyway, you'll be hearing more from me soon, I just can't help writing, so check out my future stories if you are interesting.**

**Oh, and thanks for the reviews!**


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